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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Money Maker

I'm a longtime fan of Nigerian scam emails. For those of you unfamiliar with this particular genre of money scam, please use your Google search engine and put the terms "Nigerian scam" into the box. You'll be treated to both an explanation and a summary of the more egregious variants. What always amazes me is that people fall for this stuff. Even a cursory examination of the grammar, syntax, spelling and content reveals that they must assume I am a complete and utter idiot. Meanwhile, I just keep adding them to my collection. A few days ago, I received a new variant. This one is so preposterous and funny that I thought I'd lighten the news load a bit and reprint it here as a public service. Not a single character has been changed. What follows is an exact transcript of the email I received:
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From Mrs Jenifer Bruce
N[38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody
Abidjan,Cote d'Ivoire


ATTN:
DEAREST ONE OF GOD
I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Mr.Abram Bruce, who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in suspense account.

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my husband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband’s relatives is around me always I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information’s, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your
reply.
Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs Jenifer Bruce

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Do you think Mrs Bruce will succeed in her efforts to gain access to your bank account? You've been duly warned, my public service for today.

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